OLDERTRON

Scientist Elmore Hoskins was the smartest man ever to graduate from Harvard. He was the smartest man ever to work for Dupont and the smartest man ever to work for Dow Chemical. He recieved over a thousand patents before he turned 60, all relating to inventions he created during his spare time. He was widely regarded as the foremost genius of the 20th century.

But now it's the 21st century, and Elmore Hoskins is nothing but an old, old man. As his brain succumbs to old age and his body deteriorates, he makes one last desperate rage against the dying of the light. Using the last of his financial and mental resources, he creates the ELDERBOT-- a mechanical body in which to store his failing mind.

And then he starts a punk band.

The street kids of New York catch on quick, and pretty soon "OLDERTRON" is the most popular underground music act in the city. But it's gonna take a lot more than a huge underground following to get the agents and major labels to take a chance on a robotic rocker with an electric mohawk and video cameras for eyes. It's gonna take all the heart Elmore's got, and then some. It's gonna take the biggest unauthorized street concert in New York City's history, and a contest between the most profitable punk band in the world (The Buttfuck Nuns) and a little old man in a little robot body.

OLDERTRON. Get ready to Robot-Rock.

Additional scene from movie DEATH HAT

TAU KAPPA EPSILON FRATERNITY-- EXT. NIGHT

A bunch of cops are standing around the scene of a GRIZZLY OCTUPLE MURDER.

OFFICER 1: Wow-- how are we going to catch eight murderers?

PROFESSOR DENMORE CAVENDISH, a young professor of scientist from the college, pulls up on a bitchin' motorcycle. He takes off his helmet and reveals that he is OH SO HANDSOME. He has LONG, GLORIOUS HONEY-BLONDE HAIR and GORGEOUS GREEN EYES. Does he work out? YES HE DOES.

OFFICER 2: Excuse me, sir-- this is a crime scene.
DENMORE CAVENDISH:I'm a professor.
He pushes past the officer

OFFICER 1: I'm so glad you're here. These murders are getting out of control.
DENMORE: Look, I've got a theory.
He puts on a spelunking headlamp and starts looking over the grass. In only few minutes, he finds what he's looking for.

DENMORE: I knew it! A broken thermometer!
OFFICER 1: What has that got to do with anything?
OFFICER 2: Shut up, rookie! Let the professor work.
DENMORE: If my calculations are correct, all these murders were done by A SINGLE PERSON.
The officers gasp
DENMORE: And what's worse-- the person we're dealing has gone mad. As a hatter.
OFFICER 1: You mean!
DENMORE: Yes. Mercury Poisoning. Whoever did this is drinking mercury from these thermometers. Hat makers used to go crazy from unknowingly ingesting small amounts of mercury used to cure felt. But this murderer is doing it on purpose!
OFFICER 1: What a screwball!
DENMORE: There's only one problem.
Offficer 1 looks at him
DENSMORE: Drinking this much mercury would kill you. Instantly!
OFFICER 2: Wow-- to think of hats making someone crazy...
DENSMORE: Yes. There's several well documented cases-- in fact, I was just reading....
He breaks off.
DENSMORE: OFFICER-- I NEED TO GET TO A LIBRARY RIGHT NOW.

{I hope this is working for you guys.}

scenes from the movie DEATH HAT.

INT. MOSTLY EMPTY MUSEUM OF HATS

MIKEY: Dude man-- this museum of hats is the queen of boring!

JEFFY: (Laughs) It sure is homey

MIKEY: Like look at this ridiculous black top hat!

CLOSE UP of hat. ominous music. Is that a blood stain, there, on the brim?

JEFFY: Can you believe people used to wear this? Man, everyone from the past sucked it so hard.

MIKEY removes his TKE fisherman hat.

MIKEY: Yo, Jeffy, I got an idea.

JEFFY: Oh no!

MIKEY: Man, the guys back at the house wouldn't believe it.

JEFFY: Do it man.

MIKEY switches his TKE fish hat with the top hat on top of the evil looking wax figure.

JEFFY: Let's get out of here!

MIKEY stuffs the tall top hat in MIKE'S Backpack.

EXT. MUSEUM OF FAMOUS HATS-- DAY.
We see the two youths leaving the museum, laughing.

EXT. LONDON STREETS-- DAY.
The two men walk around, seeing various LONDON sights.

EXT. BIG BEN.--SUNSET.

MIKEY: Jeffy, man, I don't feel so good.

JEFFY: I told you not to eat that Shephards Pie shit.

MIKEY: Seriously, dude.

JEFFY: Hold on.

JEFFY touches MIKEY'S forehead with the back of his hand. It is EXTREMELY HOMO-EROTIC.

JEFFY: You're a little hot, Mikey.

MIKEY: How would you know, gaybag? Let's hit the pharmacy and get a thermometer.

JEFFY: Fine, gaylord.

INT: HOSTEL ROOM--- NIGHT
MIKEY has a thermometer in his mouth. He's still wearing that hat.

MIKEY: Dude, I feel like shit.

JEFFY: Less talking and more thermometer sucking. You should know how to suck it!

MIKEY: Shut up. I would not.

JEFFY take the thermometer from MIKEY's mouth in a wierdly homeorotic way. He turns it in the light.

JEFFY: Shit-- this is in centigrade.

MIKEY: Fuck it. We'll be back at MNU tomorrow night. I'm sure I'll be fine.

JEFFY: FINELY GAY.

MIKEY: SHUT UP!

JEFFY: Geez.

MIKEY: Let's go to sleep.

INT. HOSTEL ROOM-- LATER.
We see MIKEY and JEFFY asleep in their separate beds. MIKEY is still wearing the hat. SUDDENLY Mikes eyes open. HE LOOKS CRAZY. He grabs the thermometer from earlier, and USING ONLY THE STRENGTH OF HIS OWN TWO ARMS, he breaks it in half. Looking crazy, he poors the mercury inside into his open mouth. He looks over at JEFFY, scarily, and pulls out a swiss army knife from his open backpack.

INT. AIRPORT-- DAY.
MIKEY walks through the airport. He is noticeably both alone and still wearing the DEATH HAT.

{more later. Comments are welcome-- who's the next victim?!?!}

DEATH HAT

Rough sketch of an idea-- a hat that was originally made by a hat maker that went crazy (because of mercury poisoning-- this is real) and it was his favorite hat that he would always wear when he was murdering people-- for example his neighbors, a dog, etc. So finally he gets caught when he's murdering someone and is killed by the police-- shot down in the street-- but his hat takes on the evil spirit of killing. So when other people put the hat on, they become evil murderers. It's like a top hat. And someone sells the hat as a momento of the mad hatter murderer to a museum, and they have it for a while until FLASH FORWARD it is 2006 and it is filched by two Frat buddies who are visiting the London museum of famous hats where it is kept. They steal it as a joke for a scavenger hunt, but before you know it one of the frat buddies is Murdered. Horribly. Back in the states, Professor of scientist Denmore Cavendish is explaining how to get Mercury out of mercury ore-- you have to burn it. He's a world reknown mercury expert, which is why the police come to him after a series of VERY grizzly murders at his college (co-ed) at which a lot of mercury stuff was found at the scene-- sometimes like a bunch of broken thermometers that are missing their mercury, sometimes an empty mercury battery or other mercury item (possible tie in to Ford- Mercury dealers?) Pretty soon, the professor has figured out that whoever is doing this murdering is actually drinking the mercury, which of course is very dangerous but which the hat is making the evil frat boy do so that he stays crazy enough to sate the hat's thirst for blood. Some microfilm research at the library reveals the story of THE CRAZY HAT KILLER from an old newspaper. Now it's a race to the finish-- can Cavendish get the hat off the head of the Fratboy (And other people-- there's a surprise ending where the hat drinks enough human blood to reproduce and splits in two-- it's the dean who winds up with the hat this time!) or will he die and will the hat just go on killing and reproducing?

The whole college is terrified of the murderer. But in this movie, it isn't the murderer. It's the murderers hat.

DEATH HAT.

MURDER BY LETTERS

THE TRUE STORY OF TED KACZYNSKI

In this controversial new biopic, the history of TED "THEODORE" LOGAN KACZYNSKI, known to the world as "THE UNIBOMBER," is finally revealed. From the age of five, when a young Ted Kaczynski wins his first spelling bee, all the way to the age of 17, when a juvenille Ted, already recognized as very intelligent, writes his first somewhat lengthy political letter. This one was to his cousin, but eventually, his letters would be addressed to THE WORLD.

DR. LEROY WEINBERG is the neighbor man who noticed how shy he was.
ED GRIFFIN is a teacher who noticed Ted's antisocial behavior at a relatively early age.
And MICHELLE PEMPERTON is the girl he had a crush on for part of the tenth grade but who did not like him back.

See Ted Kaczinski before he was the man we all hoped would never contact us by mail. Before the glasses. Before the hooded sweatshirt.

Before the Beard.

MURDER BY LETTERS.