Pony Gun

Reese: Hey Doctor Olympics, I've uncovered some sort of crazy gem that gives whoever has it in their mouth super powers! Watch!

Reese puts the gem in his mouth and hovers above the ground. A bouquet of lilies appears in his hand, surprising even him.

Reese: Wow, flowers!

Dr. Olympics: Where ever did you find such a gem?!

Reese: In the old cave up on Sphinx mountain, in the break room! Doc watch!

Reese does a flip mid air. Poof! He's wearing tuxedo.

Reese: Well, whatta ya know!

Dr. Olympics: You may be my godson, Reese Cardigan. And in the last few weeks, ever since that weird Halloween party we went to, I've thought of you as not just my godson but my best friend. But Reese-- if you don't give me that gem right now I swear I'll kill you.

Reese: Here, Doc. If you want it that badly you could have just asked.

Dr. Olympics: Uh... sorry.

Reese: Would you really have killed me?

Dr. Olympics: I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me.

Reese: Are you even going to try it? Put it in your mouth.

Dr. Olympics: It's got spit on it.

Reese: You were going to murder me for that thing but now a little spit is putting you off? Give it back.

Dr. Olympics: Let me just dry it on my shirt.

Reese: You're an asshole.

Dr. Olympics: Okay here we go.

He puts the gem in his mouth. He hovers upward and a bouquet of dahlias appears in his hand.

Dr. Olympics: The power!! The absolute power!

Poof! He's wearing a nice blazer.

Dr. Olympics: So what else does it do?

Reese: You know what? I thought we could be friends. Not best friends. But I was excited after the halloween party that I could be friends with my godfather.

Dr. Olympics: Were you? I'm so sorry.

Reese: I don't know what else it does. I hope nothing. I'm going to tell my dad about this and he's going to revoke your godfather status.

Dr. Olympics: Reese, I've cared so much about you, ever since you were a small child. But if you tell your dad about this, I swear I'll kill you.

Reese: What a surprise. Choke on that thing, dick.

A big handgun appears in Dr. Olympics's hand.

Dr. Olympics: Well! Then I've had quite enough out of you. I'm sorry, Reese.

Dr. Olympics fires the gun at Reese, who dodges out of the way behind a box of camping pornography. But instead of a bullet coming out of the gun, a tiny pony poots out of the barrel. It lands between Reese and Dr. Olympics, then rapidly grows to full size.

Pony: Neigh!

Dr. Olympics and Reese (together): This changes everything.

They exchange a significant look. Brief pause, then roll opening credits