TYRION LANNISTER, from HBO's "GAME OF THRONES" is walking down the streets of Lannisport, home of the Lannister Clan and one of the largest settlements in Westeros.
TYRION: I sure am glad that the "Game of Thrones" I was doing turned out so well. To think, I got to ride a dragon AND meet Queen Arya! Plus my dad and everyone is still alive because it was all a fun trick.
Famous spy and eunuch VARYS appears from inside a pile of garbage.
VARYS: But Tyrion wait! Your adventures are not yet at an end!
TYRION: Varys! I thought you were dead! Shot through the face by Balerion himself!
VARYS: I wasn't killed, I was sent to another dimension and the future, where I met a team of at-risk youths in need of a coach for their soccer team. And only you can be that coach!
TYRION: Me? But I don't know anything about soccer! I don't even know what it is!
VARYS: It won't be easy. These kids have been rejected by every other coach in town. They're out of control! If they're not shoplifting, they're being disrespectful to their elders. You can't simply discipline them until they're state champions. They're going to need something that's a lot harder to give: love. But Tyrion I tell you these kids have potential, and if you can open your heart to them and show them you TRULY care, the sky is the limit.
TYRION: But I don't know what soccer is.
VARYS: You can learn! These kids need you!
TYRION: I won't do it!
VARYS: You will!
TYRION: No!
VARYS: You have no choice! Abracadabra!
There is a flash of light and Tyrion appears 10 feet above a little league baseball diamond. There are a ragtag bunch of at-risk youths scattered about the field. Some whittle, some read comic books, NONE seem actively engaged in getting better at soccer.
Tyrion falls heavily to the ground. A young man in a soccer uniform runs up to him.
TYRION: What is soccer?
BILLY: I don't know.
TYRION: I sure am glad that the "Game of Thrones" I was doing turned out so well. To think, I got to ride a dragon AND meet Queen Arya! Plus my dad and everyone is still alive because it was all a fun trick.
Famous spy and eunuch VARYS appears from inside a pile of garbage.
VARYS: But Tyrion wait! Your adventures are not yet at an end!
TYRION: Varys! I thought you were dead! Shot through the face by Balerion himself!
VARYS: I wasn't killed, I was sent to another dimension and the future, where I met a team of at-risk youths in need of a coach for their soccer team. And only you can be that coach!
VARYS: It won't be easy. These kids have been rejected by every other coach in town. They're out of control! If they're not shoplifting, they're being disrespectful to their elders. You can't simply discipline them until they're state champions. They're going to need something that's a lot harder to give: love. But Tyrion I tell you these kids have potential, and if you can open your heart to them and show them you TRULY care, the sky is the limit.
TYRION: But I don't know what soccer is.
VARYS: You can learn! These kids need you!
TYRION: I won't do it!
VARYS: You will!
TYRION: No!
VARYS: You have no choice! Abracadabra!
There is a flash of light and Tyrion appears 10 feet above a little league baseball diamond. There are a ragtag bunch of at-risk youths scattered about the field. Some whittle, some read comic books, NONE seem actively engaged in getting better at soccer.
Tyrion falls heavily to the ground. A young man in a soccer uniform runs up to him.
TYRION: What is soccer?
BILLY: I don't know.
2 comments:
Wow. So...this isn't exactly what I was thinking, but I've got to admit it's even better. You took my gold and made it platinum, Steeb. This being said, can you please refer to soccer as "football?" I've read that they call soccer "football" in other countries, and they've got British accents in Game of Thrones, so my guess is that Westeros is somewhere outside of London. Suggestion: maybe Tyrion wouldn't know what "Football" is instead of not knowing what "Soccer" is? It would be kind of like someone from England who calls Soccer Football, but then comes to the US and doesn't know what Soccer means and also thinks that US Football is Football.
Still, to quote your own screenplay: "Abracadabra!" You've done it again, and by "it" I mean a great screenplay. You've done a great screenplay. It's magic, but as I'm sure you've already guessed, the true magic lies in you. Bravo.
Hey Richard--
Thanks for participating in Screamingly Good Screenplays, the world's number 1 spot for screenplay discussion, writing, review, enjoyment, and screenplays.
Your note, about making the characters in my screenplay say "Football" instead of "Soccer" is a good one, but I won't do it? Why? Because the American market remains the MOST IMPORTANT MARKET for screenplays, especially comedy sports romps, and if you called soccer "football" here everyone would get super-confused and storm out of the theater shouting for their money back, even though they would LOVE the film. And that would mean less money in my pocket.
Speaking of which, you owe me $10,000.
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