INT. ABANDONED HAT FACTORY, NIGHT--- EERIE MUSIC indicates that this is a dangerous place, as does the HUMAN CORPSE dangling from the old neon sign on the top of the building. We can just make out the words "ACME HAT FACTORY" before we pan down to a the main entrance. Next to the door is another smaller sign: "Mercury Deliveries Should Go Around" with an arrow pointing around the back. Another smaller human corpse hangs from this sign.
DENSMORE CAVENDISH squeels up on his expensive motorcycle-- he pulls the helmet off and his LONG FEMININE HAIR falls to his shoulders. He shakes it as he gazes up at the Acme Hat Factory sign.
DENSMORE: "The old abandoned Acme Hat Factory-- I should have known."
DENSMORE pulls an M-16 assualt rifle from the side of the motorcycle, then puts a belt of grenades over his head. Then he pulls ANOTHER M-16 assualt rifle from the motorcycle, then he pulls out ANOTHER BELT OF GRENADES. He sticks TWO KNIVES into sheaths on his thighs, then sticks ANOTHER FOUR KNIVES into other sheaths on his thighs. He slides BRASS KNUCKLES onto the fingers of BOTH his hands, then pulls out a BAT WITH A BIG NAIL IN IT.
AT THIS POINT THE AUDIENCE IS THINKING: THAT IS AN EXCESSIVE AMOUNT OF WEAPONS. But what they don't know is that even that many WILL NOT BE ENOUGH WEAPONRY TO DEFEAT THE DEATH HAT. (Later there will be a flamethrower.)
DENSMORE goes up to the front door.
DENSMORE: Death Hat! I know you're in there! And you're about to get yours! You fuckin' bitch!
CUT TO:
From behind a pile of decrepit fedoras, the LUNATIC EYES of Death Hat emerge from darkness. We see his face-- little is left of the beloved Dean we met in scene 126. His face is guant and pale, and liquid mercury drips endlessly from his grayish, lumpy mouth. The hat is in control now. The hat.
DEATH HAT: Come and get it, Cavendish! I'll drink your blood from your own skull after I mix it with mercury!
He laughs insanely.
CUT TO
DENSMORE: Come and get it!
DENSMORE kicks in the door and fires his guns into the crushing darkness and throws a grenade.
KABOOM!!
We see Death Hat watching from a safe distance. He mutters to himself like the madman that he is, the evil hat itself now perched ominously low on his head. It glows red.
DEATH HAT: HAAHHAAHAHA! He has no idea where I am. I am crazy! I can't wait to MURDER him!!!
SUDDENLY A BAT WITH A NAIL IN IT SMASHES INTO THE SIDE OF HIS HEAD!!!!!!!
DENSMORE: I was only distracting you!
DEATH HAT: Ugh!
DEATH HAT falls to the ground in a heap, Mercury spraying out of the side of his head like water spraying out of a punctured one of those water weenies. Or, pee from a dick. The mercury first has high pressure, but then it slowly dribbles to a stop and then it just wells out.
DENSMORE: Well, that was easy!!!!!!
Close up on the eyes of Death Hat. It looks like he's dead, but the audience know that can't be true-- the final battle was over too quickly. Just when the audience thinks the Dean's eyes are going to pop back open, they don't. Instead, a creepy pair of red eyes open on the hat itself!!! As in the background Densmore calls the police and tells them to cancel the back up he requested, we see evil ROOT-LIKE structures burrow their way from the hat into the head of the Dean. There can only be one explanation: the Death Hat is about to take over the body of the dean and not just the mind!
The eyes on the hat shine with laughter as we see the hand of the zombie dean twitch.... pan over to a canteen on the Dean's belt that says "Fresh Mercury".... FADE TO BLACK...
1 comment:
So here's what I'm like. I watch smart movies sometimes and of course they are good if I want to be thinking. But what is really good is the movies where I can sit back and enjoy them. Does that make sense? I like the movies where I can lay back and eat popcorn and nachos and be taken on a ride because the movie is really fucking fun. Mostly, that’s what your scripts are like. When I read about the hat at first I didn’t like it. Sorry but that was my first impresion. But then when I used my imagination I thought about how cool it could look if it was done all CGI. Maybe it would have fangs and drool and really have a life of the hats own, kind of like Gollum in the Lord of the Rings movies. And now that I’m thinking about it it’s like do people even realize how vulnerable their heads are? Without your head you are gone. You are nothing. So if something controls your head? That is what is scary and makes this a good date movie. I can totally picture my fiancé gasping and holding me tight when the death hat talks about drinking mercury and blood from the skull. Anyways good job. You are very creative and I hope to see your stuff on the sliver screen soon. Hey also if you want help drawing designs for t-shirts, you should give a way to contact you. I have a good idea where the hat is like almost swallowing someone’s brain. The brain would be silver and obviously mercury flavored.
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