Gorno was just your average, run of the mill half-elf, and so was his best friend, Lorno. Together they ran the best tea shop in Glamdingshire, and they looked forward to having long, boring lives fishing for frinkolip fish on the shores of the Tinklesound Stream. But then one day a bearded, angry, drunk dwarf covered in blood and vampire bats kicked in their door and cut off Lorno's head with a huge sword and pissed on his twitching body and then threw the body into the fire and ran away. Glorno watched in horror-- he was unarmed, he was weak-- a homicidal dwarf busting into the tea shop was the absolute last thing he could have expected and, truly, there was nothing he could have done.
But his friend was dead. Dead and burned, and Gorno was alive, still holding onto a bag of Kipperwhip tea (the best in four counties). He called the half-elf sheriff, Mr. Ponius Grimblegrum. The sheriff didn't have much to say, expect that he would look for the dwarf and ask around. The sheriff saw the body and vomited-- vomited on the shiny stone floor of the tea shop, and Gorno began once again to cry.
Three years passed. There was no word of the dwarf other than a few witnesses that had seen him the day of Lorno's murder. Gorno couldn't stop remembering it-- it was the worst thing that had ever happened to him. That day was the worst day of his life. Nothing meant any thing to him anymore. He couldn't make new friends or lovers, and he began to feel like he was all alone in the whole world. One morning he woke up with a bloody pillow, and he was glad.
But it turned out to be nothing. He lived to be very old and it only got a little bit better. He found, near the end of his life, that he could take some pleasure in sweetcakes. But that soon passed.
But his friend was dead. Dead and burned, and Gorno was alive, still holding onto a bag of Kipperwhip tea (the best in four counties). He called the half-elf sheriff, Mr. Ponius Grimblegrum. The sheriff didn't have much to say, expect that he would look for the dwarf and ask around. The sheriff saw the body and vomited-- vomited on the shiny stone floor of the tea shop, and Gorno began once again to cry.
Three years passed. There was no word of the dwarf other than a few witnesses that had seen him the day of Lorno's murder. Gorno couldn't stop remembering it-- it was the worst thing that had ever happened to him. That day was the worst day of his life. Nothing meant any thing to him anymore. He couldn't make new friends or lovers, and he began to feel like he was all alone in the whole world. One morning he woke up with a bloody pillow, and he was glad.
But it turned out to be nothing. He lived to be very old and it only got a little bit better. He found, near the end of his life, that he could take some pleasure in sweetcakes. But that soon passed.
4 comments:
Hey that is a strange one. Kind of like LOTR meets About Schmidt. The sadness to it is very real.
What I appreciate the most is that, by making Gorno a half-elf, you've incorporated the fantasy aspect. And, as I'm sure most people are aware, fantasy is where human beings turn to escape the boundaries of their mundane lives. It's normally a place of magic and fulfillment (My film prof argued that this is why many fantasy women have large, perfect breasts and long, shapely legs). But even in this fantasy world, even in what is normally an ideal world, there is still tragedy and guilt and suffering.
I like that Gorno DOESN'T die. He wants to, as shown by the bloody pillow, but he doesn't. Rather, he endures his suffering every day because he feels he deserves it. While Gorno is blameless, the point is irrellavent. Guilt, by it's very definition, is created not out of blame, but of thought. It is Gorno's guilt at remaining alive that curses him, that ruines him.
The similarity between Gorno and Lorno's names also speaks volumes. I believe what you're saying is that they might as well be the same person. They don't represent an idividual, but rather all mankind. Indeed, had Gorno been the one to have his head cut off, been pissed on, and then incinerated, the reader must believe that Lorno would have responded the same way. The commentary is on the human need for guilt and suffering.
Yet within this tragedy lies a deep-seeded hint of hope. Without Lorno, Gorno feels alone in the world. But if the theory of Gorno and Lorno being interchangeable is true, one must consider the likelyhood that everyone in Glamdingshire is interchangeable. And being the same, how can they be alone? Everyone feels guilt. Everyone feels sorrow and hopelessness. Everyone FEELS alone. But nobody is. There's always someone nearby, someone close, that can understand what you're feeling.
Gorno lost his best friend Lorno. But if he'd only taken the time to talk to Morno or Norno, he most likely would have found a friendship equally as close. It's a message that doesn't just relate to Glamdingshire and the shores of Tinklesound Stream. It's a message that to which we can all adhere. In these modern times where crowded rooms are the loneliest rooms, each stranger is feeling just as lonely as you. By offering a simple smile and "hello," we can open ourselves up. By making ourselves vulnerable, we make ourselves full.
EL DIVORCE
(Movie starts out in a living room with a man and a woman, both in their 40s)
Dan: I'm sorry, Harriet. I want a divorce
Harriet: Ok.
(Roll Credits on a black screen. Music: Open Arms by Journey)
This movie is about a couple who have been married for 15 years and what it's like when they get a divorce.
One thing that is special about the divorce is that their religious beliefs don't agree with divorce. The other thing that is special about this divorce is that they have 9 children.
Dan: What are we going to do about the kids?
Harriet: The kids.
Dan: Yes. I don't know, Harriet. I just don't know. How do we know which one it is?
(Though it will be revealed later in the movie, what Dan is referring to is that when they got married they consulted a witch doctor who told them that if they had 9 kids, one of them would be made from magic and have unforseen powers.)
Harriet: ...
Dan: We both want the magic child under our custody, but there's no telling who will get them. I know I have my suspicions as to which child it is, and I know you have yours. I know what we'll do. We'll roll dice. The highest roll gets to choose first. We'll pick, one at a time, which children to we get custody over.
Harriet: Did you ever love me?
Dan: Yes. Are you in, Harriet?
Harriet: I'm in.
Dan: Wait! We have an odd number of children! That means that one of us will get to keep more children than the other! What do we do?
Harriet: You decide.
Dan: Okay, then. We'll share the 9th child. You have it for half the time and I'll have it for the other half.
Harriet: Okay.
(Dan and Harriet each choose which child they will get. There is some arguing, but in the end they both agree. Dan and Harriet get four and a half children a piece. The last child chosen is Ted. Neither Dan nor Harriet believe Ted is magical, and they are only keeping their halves "just in case.")
Dan: So it is done.
Harriet: Yes.
(What follows are scenes of Dan and Harriet monitoring each of their children very closely, looking for signs of magic. Often times they think they see something, but in each scene, they are disappointed. Through this all, they share Ted. Ted, of course, is magical. But this is a heartwarming tale, and what is magical about Ted is his ability to bring Dan and Harriet back together, letting them remember how much they love each other and how much they need each other.)
Dan: So it was Ted all along! He magically healed our love!
Harriet: I'm happy.
(Close up on Ted. Ted secretly lifts a finger and a chair hovers and dances around the room)
Ted: Yes. That's what I do!
(Roll Credits)
Big fat ups to both Jackie and orbitgum for their excellent comments. And let me single out Jackie for being one of the few people out who was ever crazy enough to attempt to deconstruct or "unpack" the onionlike layers of my screamingly good screenplays. I put a lot of thought into these things (my second favorite idol is James Joyce, the author) and practically every noun has like four separate meanings, each of which expresses what the story means. I have a full version of the oxford english dictionary, and whenever I need a noun I blindfold myself, open up the volume and point, then take off the blindfold and check to see if it's the right word, then if it isn't I process: repeat. That said, Jackie's analysis is WOEFULLY inadequate. WOEFULLY. It made me weep tears of blood.
What Jackie failed to do, and what he or she obviously should have done, is analyze what english majors call the "meaning behind the meaning" or (german) the UNTERMEANING. If he or she had, he or she would have found something a lot more interesting than how it's great to shake other peoples hands.
I'm too busy focusing on my next screenplay to get into this too much, but let me just offer one example of how my screenplays work: the Tinklesound Stream.
First divide the word in three, the most powerful literary number (known as "the rule of threes":) Tink, les, ound
TINK, tinkerbell, peter pan, captain hook, catchy hook, timbaland, the forest, sasquatch, myth, mythbusters, DESIRE FOR THE TRUTH.
LES Les Paul, Guitar, Acoustic Guitar, No power, POWER STRUGGLE.
OUND, hound, hound dog, Elvis, singer, Isaac Bashevis Singer, short stories, ranch house, ronald reagan, cowboy, cowman, Minotaur, maze, "Dazed and Confused," Pot, Weed, weedwhacker, Stihl brand weedwackers, Stihl corporation, CORPORATIONS ARE EVIL
And almost every god damn word is fucking like that.
hey stephen. it sounds like you either take yourself very seriously or you are making fun of jackie. either way i laughed. also since everybody is offering up screenplays here is one that i thought up awhile ago.
there are a bunch of longshoreman and they're unloading things. all of a sudden they see a bunch of ships pull in to the harbor. what is weird is that the ships are mostly very old. they are like antique ships. they have cannon's and large sails and there is one that will have a wooden mermaid on the front. as the ships pull in to harbor the longshoreman realize that all of these ships are ships that disappeared in the bermuda triangle. and what is more is that the ships still have people who are alive on them. as far as the ships are concerned no time has passed at all. so what has happened? nobody knows. however the people who are from the past want to get back to their time. they aren't happy with the year 2009 or whenever because computers and cell phones and other technology is confusing. so that is the first part. the second part of the movie is that an ocean scientist who has also been working on theory of relativity experiments wants to help them get back. he brings all the ships back to the bermuda triangle and he opens a time passage. the only thing is is that the time passage is a little to early. the time passage doesn't go to just after the ships disappeared, it goes to just before. the very same ships that were waiting to go back through the time passage enter the current time. but instead of their being two versions of each old ship, the old ships that are just coming through actually replace the other old ships. in fact, it is like the other old ships never existed because it is a time paradox. and also the ocean scientist isn't really there anymore because his timeline disappears. the movie ends with the new old ships coming to the longshoreman place just like at the beginning. thus the movie and the story are cyclical and it reminds us that if we do not remember the past or future we are doomed to repeat it.
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