A public swimming pool. Day.
LORGO: I bought this swimming pool from the cash-strapped city, and now I'm going to run it into the ground!
HENCHMAN 1: Perfect plan, Lord Lorgo.
LORGO: The fools that run the municipal pool system appear to have forgotten how they betrayed me when I was a youth lifeguard!
HENCHMAN 2: Sir, I've got the poison ready.
HENCHMAN 3: Shall I pour it in the pool?
LORGO: Not just yet. Our first step is a little more.... subtle.
HENCHMAN 4: What is it?
LORGO: Overchlorination.
HENCHMAN 5: They'll stay away in droves!
LORGO: Exactly.
HENCHMAN 6: Stinging eyes!
LORGO: Shut up! I just realized how stupid this is!
HENCHMAN 7: It is stupid.
HENCHMAN 8: Start with the poison. Who are you going to poison if everyone's staying away?
LORGO: The whole thing is stupid.
HENCHMAN 9: But you were a betrayed lifeguard.
LORGO: Yes, they fired me. And, no, I still don't think I deserve it. But that was so long ago. Those people don't even work for the municipal pool system anymore, probably.
HENCHMAN 10: This turnaround is remarkably fast.
HENCHMAN 11: I was just thinking that.
LORGO: What am I supposed to do? Poison people when I know how stupid it is?
HENCHMAN 12: Then what are you going to do with the pool?
LORGO: I need time to think. Let's go get shakes.
Later at The Burger Nurse.
HENCHMAN 13: Forgive me for saying this, but what if you just ran the pool normally?
LORGO: I could be the chief lifeguard!
HENCHMAN 14: We could all be the secondary lifeguards.
LORGO: Exactly. We'll chorinate it just the right amount.
HENCHMAN 15: Wait, what?
LORGO: We'll do the job they never could. The fools!
HENCHMAN 16: That's actually also stupid.
LORGO: I know. But obviously I can't just poison anyone who goes to the pool.
HENCHMAN 17: (silence)
LORGO: Do I just walk away from the whole situation? And go back to Mount Uraguay?
HENCHMAN 18: I feel sick to my stomach.
LORGO: (sigh)
HENCHMAN 19: Obviously you should do what you want. You're the boss.
LORGO: I'm sorry to put this on you guys.
HENCHMAN 20: Don't worry about us right now. Worry about you.
HENCHMAN 21: We'll support you no matter what. That's our job.
LORGO: Oh god.
HENCHMAN 22 (bitterly sarcastic): Sure, because now that Operation Pool is gone I'm sure he has a lot of use for all of us. What the fuck, Lord Lorgo!
HENCHMAN 23: That's a cheap shot. We're all being cool about this-- just give the man some time.
LORGO: Please know that I support this whole team--
HENCHMAN 24: I just set fire to that bitch waitress! Let's get out of here!
HENCHMAN 25: Run!
Later. Back at the public swimming pool. The sun begins to set.
HENCHMAN 26: We made it.
HENCHMAN 27: Are we all here?
HENCHMAN 28: Yep.
HENCHMAN 29: Wait a second-- where's Master Lorgo?
HENCHMAN 30 (Bitterly sarcastic): Who gives a shit?
LORGO: Hey guys! That was crazy! I feel so alive.
HENCHMAN 31: Hey Lorgo. We thought we'd lost you.
LORGO: Not a chance. I'm wiley.
HENCHMAN 32: Did you have a chance to think?
LORGO: Not really. You mean about the future? I thought about it but it didn't lead anywhere.
HENCHMAN 33: I hate this holding pattern.
LORGO: I'm sorry for that. I just realized I'm being really rude--why don't we all meet up tomorrow and I promise I'll have further instructions then, okay? Everyone?
HENCHMEN: Okay, sounds good.
LORGO: See you tomorrow. And remember-- no running at the pool!
HENCHMEN: hahahaha.
LORGO: Just kidding, you can run. That part of my life is gone now. Gone.
HENCHMAN 34: Good luck, boss. Call me if you need anything.
LORGO: I need a friend.
HENCHMAN 35: What was that, boss?
LORGO: Nothing. Good night, guys.
HENCHMAN 36: Night.
3 comments:
And then what if there was another villian and he DID try and poison the pool. I think the henchment would be conflicted. They'd be like "Should we go work for this other new villain, or should we stay true to our roots and be loyal to Lorgo?" But maybe then we find out that the other villain didn't poison the pool with real poison, he poisoned it with charisma.
Hey Stephen,
I know this is going to sound weird, but is Henchman 24 based on a real person? I noticed your profile says you're in Boston, and I have a friend who in Boston that has said and done something almost exactly like what Henchman 24 did. His name is Ray N. Is that who Henchman 24 is based on? If so, and if you know Ray, next time you see him tell him that for Fuck's sake - return my calls! I don't even care about the money anymore!
Flowers: adding another villian who actually poisons the pool is certainly an interesting idea, but I'm only being diplomatic. It stinks ass.
Pete: Henchmen 24 is based on my best friend Eric Knapp. He's from West Virginia and as far as I know has never been north of Wilmington.
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