Sunrise. A beautful small town in Greece. The beach. A heavily bearded waterlogged castaway struggles out of the waves. He bows down to pray, grateful to have made it to land. He's so happy! Suddenly he grabs his neck---HURK! A close up shot reveals he has been hit in the neck with a poison dart! He falls to the surf and water covers him momentarily. A clutched hand opens, and from it falls a HUGE DIAMOND in the shape of like a STEREOTYPICAL DIAMOND. But the difference is that this diamond is gold, and on it is painting of a space alien in a pope costume.
The camera pulls out two miles to reveal a LARS MARDIGO holding a 25-foot blowgun and standing next to a big telescope. He has a giant beard and looks unwashed.
LARS: I knew you'd be back one day, Striker Esplanade. And now you're dead, and the Illuminati Bible Stone is mine. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
LARS MARDIGO stands up.
LARS
Now to fetch that stone. Also, I remember how this all started.
The screen goes wavy for like a flashback.
TITLE:
FLASHBACK-- 20 years earlier.
The Israel Public Library. LARS MARDIGO and the man we now know as STRIKER ESPLANADE huddle over a desk and some ancient books and scrolls. They both have huge unkempt beards.
LARS
Striker-- these scrolls and whatever are cool but we need to get back to the hotel. My sister and your future wife Estrella Esperanto is only in town from LA beach for 5 days.
STRIKER
Sure, Lars! You know I love your sister as much as anything. And the sweetest part of the deal is that as soon as she and I get married you'll not only be my best friend, but my brother as well.
LARS
Life is great, bro.
They do a secret hand shake that proves they are best friends.
STRIKER and LARS
Shimmy Shimmy Hey!
STRIKER
Wait a second here, Lars. If I'm reading this correctly...
LARS
Spit it out! You know I can't read ancient proto-babylonian.
STRIKER
According to this source, there's an ancient huge diamond that's made out of gold and that proves the existence of God!
LARS
A diamond that's made from gold molecules? Why that would be....
STRIKER
The most valuable object in the the world.
LARS
Billions.
STRIKER
Or more. Look at this-- according to this other source from the renaissance etc, Donatello the famous painter himself once got ahold of this stone and painted a masterpiece on there. But no one knows what the masterpiece is of, and it's said to be of something so shocking that the church had it excommunicated because it revealed a hidden truth about the church.
LARS
Who knows what that secret could be? But one thing/ is for sure: When I said it was worth billions I guess I was underestimating.
STRIKER
Let's find it! And donate it to a museum!
LARS (lying)
Yes, let's do that and also I won't betray you.
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